Beckham Out For 6 Weeks; Galaxy Goes On Offseason Vacation, Effective Immediately

David Beckham has been diagnosed with a sprained MCL and will be out for at least six weeks, which is basically the rest of the season for the Galaxy. They didnt really have a hope of winning before, but now they really have no chance in the world...........but seeing as there are approximately 3 games after Beckham could possibly come back, I fully expect the Galaxy to bring him back for those 3 meaningless games because he certainly hasnt hurt himself enough for their liking. But the good thing for Becks is that he can look forward to a relaxing off season, as the Galaxy dont have any........oh wait......friendlies in Australia and possibly New Zealand?............fuck. Oh well, it was a good.......2 month run.

Breaking News! The Galaxy Suck, And Pete Vagenas Really Sucks; But You Probably Already Knew That

In what was probably no surprise to anyone, the Galaxy lost last night to Pachuca in the finals of the Superliga. What was surprising though, was that the Galaxy actually put up a fight without David Beckham on the field, and managed to push Pachuca to their limit. Now on to the shitty players..............Pete "sand in his" Vagenas is someone I really have nothing to say about, as he has just been that awful whenever he plays. How he is still in MLS nobody really knows as he belongs in some indoor sunday league somewhere, where he can score nicely on his own goal as much as he wants. What was good for the Galaxy was the play of Cobi Jones when he got into the game, which leads to the question of why isnt he starting for such a shitty shitty team? Honestly Frank Yallop, how do you not justify this guy being in the starting eleven over Pete Vaginas? And the final last thing that needs to be said about this game, is about Landon Donovans stupid mating ritual or whatever the fuck it is he does before games in PK's. Im pretty sure if you look closely at the replay, that it took him so long to do his fuckin raindance before the PK that his foot actually fell asleep causing him to hit a bad PK. Im just sayin.......tone down the choreography and take that shit already..................Oh, and one last note............Calero looks like a giant bag of douche, but you really cant hate on him with a performance like that last night.........meh. you probably still can. hes a douche.

08 FC Dallas Jerseys?

According to Buzz Carrick over at 3rdDegree.net, the template for Dallas' jerseys next year were discovered at an Adidas outlet store in Texas. Now the away jersey, which is shown above, doesnt look that bad........and the home jersey doesnt look that bad either. The only real problem I have with the jerseys in MLS is that it looks like every team has a similar template but with different colors, meaning theres no diversity in jersey design within the league. I know Adidas is pumping a shitload of money into the league to have the rights to outfit all the teams, but I cant wait for the day that every team gets to sign their own equipment provider because when that day comes one team is gonna sign the wrong provider, and have a really shitty jersey compared to all others like the Cleveland Cavs jersey, circa the 1990's.........What do you think about the jersey and MLS jerseys in general?

Half Of Galaxy's Roster Injured; Surprisingly They Cant Play Any Shittier

Heading into wednesday's Superliga final, the packed house(12,500) at the Home Depot Center should be excited to watch the Galaxy and their full compliment of development players get blasted off the field by the Tuzos from south of the border, as the only decent players on their team are walking around with various injuries. Fortunately for Galaxy fans, with the way they have been playing lately they cant get any worse........can they? Time will only tell......so tune into Telefutura at 11PM ET on wednesday to see how badly they get obliterated. My guess? I think the score will resemble something like that 30 run beat down the Texas Rangers put on the Orioles not too long ago. I can only wish........

FC Dallas Introducing Player Who Performs Meaningful Stepovers, Today At 1PM ET

FC Dallas is going to formally introduce the league's latest DP signing today, the brazilian stepover king, Denilson. I think this is a welcome addition to MLS for multiple reasons: 1. He can teach MLS players how to properly do a stepover. 2. If everybody on Dallas comes back healthy and plays to their potential, they could probably have the best midfield MLS has ever seen.......and finally #3. With all the talent on this team, they might not actually choke so badly in the playoffs, and an MLS cup final would'nt be out of the question for the hoops this year. Hopefully Dallas can go all the way this year, something which would go a long way towards establishing a larger fan base in the frisco area.

Big Surprise: US Loses Again In Europe

In a not so suprising turn of events the US Mens National team lost again on european soil, this time to european giants...........Sweeden? Okay, we all know Sweeden is a quality team but if the US team did'nt have the finishing skills of say...........a baby who can't even walk yet let alone kick the ball, they might have had this one in the bag. For the team to be truly succesful on the international level, they need a player who is dangerous all the time and can create their own chances. Some people say we have that in Landon Donovan but he cant do it on his own, and often struggles when he doesnt have a big forward who can hold up the ball and let him make runs off of the ball. In the end, anytime the US isnt playing in the US it is a good learning experience and will ultimately make the team better in the long haul in the qualification for, and participation in the World Cup in 2010......................And on another note, Becks went the full 90 for England yesterday and is probably in flight to LA as we speak so he can play in the "not so super classico" tonight. A full 90 at international pace and a transatlantic flight is good for a bum ankle right?

US Mens Team Tries Not To Stink It Up On European Soil

The US mens national team is in Sweeden today to try to prove to their fans, and doubters, that they can play a game on european soil aganst a good team and not suck ass. If you didnt notice from the blog post title above and the introduction to this post, the US sucks when it plays in europe but is okay when it plays anywhere else. I think the same person who has cursed Landon Donovans hairline, has cursed the mens national team when it comes to playing europe as whenever they play there they just dont seem to play the inspired soccer which has gotten them big wins over the past years in the world cup and in qualifying. Ultimately I believe this will be a good game as both teams are bringing their strongest rosters to the table.......although in the case of the US roster, I wonder why Sal Zizzo made the roster yet Freddy Adu nor Jozy Altidore made it eventhough they had performances at the U-20 World Cup which were equal to and probably better than Zizzo's.

"The Future Is What You Make It...So Make It A Good One."

I offer this poignant quote from Back To The Future 3(awesome movie btw) to one Jozy Altidore, who according to a writer at Yahoo sports, is the future of US soccer. I happen to agree with him that the 6'1 175 pound 17 year old, could in fact become the world class striker that american soccer fans have yearned for so long. There is no question in my mind that he can become a world class talent should he keep a level head and keep working hard in games, unlike another american striker......*cough* Eddie Johnson *cough*. Personally I think that the higher ups at Red Bull over in Austria will do whatever they can to keep Jozy a Red Bull through the opening of Red Bull Park. Although some people may doubt the quality of football played in MLS, you cant doubt the talent of a 17 year old who is part of the best strike force in MLS, and I have a feeling that not many european clubs will be doubting his talents come this January transfer window.

Ref Blows Match For Liverpool; MLS Refs Impressed By Level Of Suckitude

In a refereeing performance which could be compared to those seen in over 30 rec league matches, referee Rob Styles cost Liverpool 3 points by awarding Chelsea a dubious penalty kick and in turn got himself pulled off of a match this upcoming weekend. As I watched this game I got him confused with one of the refs who used to ref my summer league games in high school, meaning he was one of those refs who couldnt cut as a player so he bacame a ref who became too involved in the games he was reffing, therby becoming a shitty ref. The most suprising thing to me is how Styles made it out of Anfield alive........I thought every fan in "the kop" would rush the field and maul his ass to death before he could escape. On another point, I think MLS should look into doing the same thing, punishing shitty reffing performances, but the problem is that if they took a ref off of a game they would probably get a shittier one to replace him because if they had a "better" one he probably would have been working the game anyway.

Khano Smith Manages To Keep Ball In Stratosphere; Revs Win

The Revs beat KC 1-0, with the goal coming off of a precision cross by Khano Smith to Taylor Twellman. Having the words precision, cross, and Khano Smith in the same sentence may seem like an oddity as he has trouble keeping his crosses within the earths orbit sometimes, but this cross was perfectly on point to Twellman's foot. Its going to be a tight race in the eastern confrence for those top two seeds and for the last playoff team which figures to come from the east, unless the the Rapids or Galaxy stop sucking or there is some divine intervention which makes Salt Lake decent.

J & J Strike Force Scores 4; Red Bulls Finally Come Through In The Clutch

Played in front of 66,000 fans, and featuring no defense whatsoever, the Red Bulls finally won a big game beating the LA Beckhams 5-4 in an all offense show. Bucking the trend that they play awful in big games, NY showed up and played entertaining attacking soccer but almost lost a game they should have won because of awful awful goalkeeping from Ronald Waterrus. LA only had 5 shots on goal and scored 4; the Red Bulls couldve stuck Bruce Arena in goal and im sure his fat ass would have made a better goalkeeper than that sorry excuse for a shotstopper. Overall theres a few things to take away from this game: 1. Jozy Altidore is gonna have some euro team pay a shitload of money in the offseason for his services 2. Angel is the best player in the league. period. 3. Ronald Waterrus sucks. 4. Beckham is going to make LA a dangerous team no matter how shitty the players around him are. Hopefully fans left this match Red Bull fans, and plan on coming back to other games as this might be the most entertaining side they have fielded in their history..............and on a final note, Waterrus really sucks ass, and Kevin Harmse should just become an NHL Enforcer or an exceedingly mediocre NFl special teams player right away.

Denilson To Hoops Back On - Stepovers Invade Dallas

As if FC Dallas needed to get any better, MLS Rumors is reporting that Denilson to the hoops is a done deal and a press confrence is going to be held next week. If this move goes through, and Denilson poops all over the opposition like everybody thinks he can, then Dallas has to be considered a front runner for the cup provided everybody can stay healthy and continue their current form. On another note, Denilson also brings his famous stepovers with him to Dallas which actually serve to fool the defender unlike say, Frankie Hejduk, who's stepovers are just about as good as Britney Spears' parenting skills.

Young Gunners Take First Leg

Although this is a bit late, I always have to make time to talk about my team, Arsenal. They took the first leg of a Champions League qualifier 2-0 at Sparta Prague on wednesday, with Hleb and Fabregas(two members of my dominant EPL fantasy midfield) hitting for one each. This was a bit of a suprise to me, because I was fully expecting Jens Lehmann to gift the other team about three goals to make it a bit interesting. The baby gunners should be a fun team to watch this year with all the amazing young talent and the beautiful passing game which Wenger has always stressed, which by the way is a welcome respite from the long ball tactics employed by other EPL clubs........and on another note, I was wondering if anybody could hook me up with Bacary Sagna's hairstyle because I think its awesome. Really awesome.

Becks Recalled To England Squad

So the roster for the England Vs. Germany friendly was released today and Mr. Beckham, gimpy ankle and all, has been included. Maybe it's just me, but it makes zero sense to have a guy take a transatlantic flight on a bad ankle, to a game which he probably isnt fit enough to play in anyway. Espn is probably gouging their eyes out knowing that for the "big derby game(not really)" against chivas on thursday, Donovan and Goldenballs more than likely wont be playing a part due to international friendlies, leaving Espn with nothing to promote but the actual game itself! Shocking! Promoting the actual game!..............on another note, I fully expect Chivas to run the Galaxy off the field, and for Kevin Harmse to continue to act like a goon.

Chelsea Fails To Sign Alves

Its a shame Mourinho could'nt sign Brazilian right back Daniel Alves, as I was really looking forward to seeing Mourinho turn a highly skilled defensive player into a stay at home right back who only serves in crosses to the one offensive player. Didier Drogba. All jokes aside, this year it looks as if there is some creativity in the Chelski attack with the addition of Malouda and others, but last year i swear every Chelsea goal highlight was of Drogba just shitting on the other team all by himself.

Dynamo Sponsored by Company No One's Heard Of

The Dynamo announced that Amigo Energy will be their jersey sponsor for the next four years, following in the footsteps of Real Salt Lake by choosing a sponsor nobody's heard of. At least they're making what are considered big bucks by MLS standards. If I had the money I would gladly donate it to The Munch Box in Ohio so they could be a sponsor, because seeing them on the Crew's jersey, or any MLS jersey would make my day. It would be awesome.

Houston Loses, as Ngwenya's Brain Melts During PK

Joseph Ngwenya's PK was so bad it almost ruined a great game for me. Almost. At least he wasnt as bad as this guy. Hopefully for that man's sake he never plays the game ever again. May god have mercy on his soul.

Becks Delivers, Perkins Poops Pants

Becks scored one on a FK, and assisted on a Donovan goal. Troy Perkins' face after the first Becks strike was hilarious, as was the look he had when Becks was lining up for another. While Beckham's goal was nice, in my opinion Derosario's off the face goal should be the goal of the week based on creativity alone.